Oh, Baby

I caught myself giving baby advice to an “almost (count down, three weeks) new mom” today. Information came out so effortlessly that her quizzical looks didn’t stop me, her astonishment in my words only encouraged me, and her quiet smile, in what I thought was agreement, buoyed my enthusiasm.

I shared my theories and philosophy on childbirth and after establishing how this condition might have occurred she was mesmerized (or in shock, it was hard to tell).  The sordid details of labor and the pros (mostly) and cons (not so many) of drug inducement during the whole delivery process prattled freely from my mouth.  I babbled on incisively about how giving birth is totally different for every woman and how she should embrace the experience and enjoy each moment.  As generations of women have passed on to the next, I assured her that she would forget (in about ten years) whatever pain she would experience – it was worth it in the end.  We chattered on about if she knew the sex of the baby (I should have mentioned to her that those ultrasounds aren’t always right) and how her life (and her husbands, the dogs and the new grandmas and grandpas) will truly change after the baby was here (I know at least 10 people have told her that) made for a chuckle (or was that a nervous titter?). And no, I wasn’t one of those people who had to rub her expanded waistline (she seemed relieved).

Discussion that babies don’t arrive with clothes, toys or furniture didn’t come as much of a surprise (it confirms she has read and committed to memory the “What To Expect When You Are Expecting” book).  The estimated financial hit of $10,000 to bring home, then clothe, entertain, stroll, put to bed and feed this new little arrival did have a startling effect, though.  A friend had given me this tidbit of monetary amusement 11 years ago when I was pregnant with my son and I felt it my duty to pass it on.  I honestly thought this tried-and-true mother had flipped out and was only going for shock value… well, she was pretty right on – the part she left out was that it wasn’t just a one time cost and that no matter what you do to try and stop it, kids have a way of growing and will always need clothes, food, “toys” and a place to lie their heads.  Amazing, yet true!  If my son is any indication, the price tag of these goods is disproportionate to his height, weight or age.

I was “womb mates” with a dear friend and would never trade our laughs, tears and ongoing analysis from pregnancy and as our kids have grown – and we have grown as moms.  A bit more confidence, a lot more spontaneity and a great sense of humor have guided us through the years.  Being an “older” mom, I felt rather empowered giving guidance to this burgeoning mom ready to start her journey into the unknown, but she has to do it her way.  Figuring out each other may take a lifetime, but will bring lasting memories to both child and mother (think of it as ammunition for embarrassment when your child brings home their first serious love).  I wish health, happiness and a good night’s sleep to the new momma and her new family and the wisdom to pass on any knowledge or insight she collects along the way to another new (and unsuspecting) mom.

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life. Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-