Friends

If you stop to think how many people come and go through your life it is pretty astonishing.  To calculate how many folks you actually enjoyed spending time with would probably reduce this number substantially.  To tally the amount that stayed in your life and could be classified as a genuine friend is probably not what you think.

There is an old adage I heard long ago that said if before you died you could count on one hand the number of true friends you had had over your life you were ions ahead of most everyone else. That was one of the most perplexing things I had ever heard. What did I know?  I was young; I loved to go out every night of the week (twice on weekend days) and had as many friends as I could fit into my schedule.

Were these people I regularly associated with really friends?  How exactly do you define “friend”?  Know upfront that friends come in all shapes and sizes; colors and ages.  Friends are people you can connect with on a number of different levels.  There are friends that you knew since you were a kid; friends that you share a common interest; people who you are drawn towards because they are vivacious, funny, cute, smart - something you want to be and you think that if you spend time with this person that the “it” you are looking for will rub off on you (just for reference, it never does).  There are fair-weather friends; work friends; being pregnant together friends; friends that shop together well; high maintenance friends, “let’s do lunch” friends; and friends you love to laugh with.  Believe it or not friends can even be family, although this link is a fairly obvious one it isn’t always easy.  Friendships can take years to nurture and grow or can take a matter of minutes to forge like when you are at camp, look over a dish of mashed potatoes and across the table to meet the eyes of a kindred spirit and become life long friends.

Friendships can be a lot of work (and are worth it - or not) others are simple and easy, the type you give a call and pick up on a conversation where you left off 3 months ago and find the banter effortless, unencumbered and with the feeling that you have spoken to that person everyday of your life.  Friendships can wilt from a whisper, rage like a swollen river or keep us company on long, lonely nights.

A true friend comes when you call, no questions asked, night or day. They even come when you don’t call – they just know. Friends will listen endlessly, interject and advise when appropriate or keep silence if necessary.  A good friend is indispensable, kind of like your right arm.  The camaraderie of close friends can be cheaper than therapy, almost always more insightful and generally more fun to be in the company of.

Right now I am feeling pretty lucky and know that if I died tomorrow I am on par to fill my quota of friends on the ultimate hand-count of life.  And, more importantly, I hope I have been a friend.

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life. Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-