In the Wings

I am feeling a bit melancholy.  One of my mom’s best friend’s husband passed away the other day.  This was a man that had lived life to the fullest.  He always had a sparkle in his eye, an ornery streak that ran a mile deep and a quick wit.  He was a man who liked to laugh, treated strangers with respect, and honored his family and friends.  He was the kind of guy they don’t seem to make anymore.

As the “older” generation passes on, it hit me that we (i.e. the baby boomers) are transitioning to be the generation that our parents and their friends were for us.  The gatekeepers, so to speak, charged with keeping order and making some sense of the world for the younger folks that follow.  This task isn’t going to be as easy as our parents (and their parents before them) seemed to make it look.

I feel at odds and ill equipped to take on this challenge.  I took it for granted that someone else would be there to do it for me.  Now that the time has come for us to step up to the plate and take our turn, the prospect is a bit daunting to say the least.  The responsibility of keeping a world, that presents ever-changing trials and tribulations, joys and happiness, in tact and worthy of welcoming new lives into it, is probably one of the biggest legacies that we have to leave.

How does this changeover take place? Is it a quiet evolution and will we know when we get there?  How do we know if we succeed?  The toughest part of this transition will be admitting that I have to be an adult.  I remember when I was a kid and thinking that anyone 40 years old was ancient; 50 was decrepit and 60 was unfathomable.  Now that I have reached the age of no return and have made it “up there”, it isn’t as bad as I expected – matter of fact it is rather enjoyable (but I can rationalize pretty much anything including with age comes experience and instituting chocolate as a basic food group that should be eaten at least once a day, topping my list).  But still, this whole adult thing is a bit scary.  Even when I had a child I took the responsibility of motherhood rather seriously, but didn’t quite look at my self as grown-up.

But now the day has come to morph into the person I am comfortable in living out.  I have to make sure my convictions are true and I live my life, as I would like to be remembered.  Fortunately, I have had some pretty good examples to follow in my life – I just have to stay the course and remember to laugh along the way, as I am sure to trip and fall once or twice.  And hope that I have friends along the way like my parents did to make the journey sweeter.  My mom was fortunate to have her dear friend for 50 years.  They met while working and though their lives ebbed and flowed through marriage, kids and moves and all that life wanted to give, they were there for one another.

I think as the baton is passed, our parents can be reassured that us “kids” are ready to take their places to continue making the world a better place… one little piece at a time – until the next rank and file is prepared and in the wings.  And so it goes…

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life.  Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.                      

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-