My, Don't You Look Nice Today?

Someone referred to me as normal the other day. Not being exactly sure what the intent was, I took it as a compliment.  In this day and age, you gotta take ‘em where you can get ‘em: kind words, accolades, and kudos, that sort of thing.  It seems our society is a bit short on passing out flattering remarks.  I don’t really know the reason but it has become a viscous cycle of “I am not saying anything nice to you today because no one has said anything pleasant to me lately”.

It probably began when, in passing, someone inquired as to the well being of the person they were passing; “How are you today?” and without missing a beat, the other tossed out a “fine!” and was quickly off on their merry way.  No thought of how their actual state of being was, and thinking that the other person really didn’t care to hear the trials and tribulations of their humdrum life, the two missed an opportunity to connect.  Too bad, I think the intent is that we were put on this earth to lend a hand, rally around and be there for one another.

Uncomplicated “thank-you’s” also seem to be out of vogue.  When the latest victim of The Apprentice leaves the Trump Tower and fails to thank the doorman for opening the door (watch carefully, only three people in the last two seasons has even looked his way, much less smile or show any kind of gratitude – I mean, really, it takes two seconds and it wouldn’t hurt a bit, besides their 15 minutes of fame are up anyway), what kind of message is national television putting forth?  I know this is a rather bogus and simplified example, but if we can’t even take the time to say “thanks” – and mean it – we are in deeper trouble than we think.  This guy doesn’t have to be there and if a bit of appreciation for a job well done will make his day, it will make yours as well.

Did your mom ever mention to you that good manners go a long way?  Mine did, vehemently till I was about… (well, let’s just say she still does).  I didn’t believe her the first 25 or so years, but then the light bulb went off and the adage of treating people how you would like to be treated started to mean something.  Maybe it was also the “what goes around, comes around” theory that kicked in and I was feeling guilty and thought I better clean my own “house”.  Or, it could have been the time when I wasn’t being too nice and my “victim” never wavered.  She was killing me with kindness and I realized then that it took much less effort to be nice than to expend negative energy (besides, my face would break out from the stress).

Start small, smile at someone for no reason, it will make them wonder what you are up to.  Face the crowd in an elevator and say hello.  Work your way up to saying thank you and complimenting a hairstyle or new pair of shoes.  Find something about everyone that you can like… even if it is a belt buckle.  Try one positive thing to two negatives; then two positives… and so on.  You will be amazed how easy it is and what a sense of accomplishment you will feel.  It’s one of those unique win-win situations… try one today!

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life.  Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.                      

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-