Never Going out of Style

Trends come and go, fashion has its moments, but there is one thing that you can count on that never goes out of style… good friends.  Acquaintances come in all shapes and sizes, colleagues sometimes fall under the “fair-weather” friends category, and neighbors move away and lose touch, but there is something about a true, trust ‘em with your life, look forward to seeing them, squeeze ‘em til their eyes pop, a buddy, a pal, a real friend.

Maybe it the ease of conversation, the kind of chatter that you skip from topic to topic not realizing where the time has gone that binds a close relationship.  Or it could be characterized as being able to pick up right where you left off with that special someone, no matter if it has been a day, a week or a month of separation.

Possibly it is the “good stuff” that you have revealed about yourself with a companion that binds you together.  Knowing where someone comes from and what their past entailed must be given its proper due… even if it isn’t always pretty and your chosen path wasn’t the easiest or straightest way to get between points; your times of yore is in fact what got you to where you are today and helped to mold the person you see in the mirror everyday.  If you have someone that understands your days gone by and still not only accepts you but also embraces you, with your shortcomings, no strings attached, they should definitely be on your list of keepers.

If existential babble is essential for the well being and redemption of bosom buddy friends, and knowing when to hold a surreptitious, confidential, “promise you won’t tell a soul”, secret (but also knowing when to fold) are the components that will build the foundation for an endearing relationship, laughter has to be the mortar, the glue that holds a true friendship together for the long haul.

Frankly, if you can’t laugh (the down deep-in-the-belly kind that can make your eyes water) with the person who calls himself a friend, you may be in for a major friend disappointment.  Chortling at one’s obvious shortcomings is a sign of maturity, fair game and fodder for future reference.  Tittering uncontrollably at a shared mishap is just plain fun. (Note: snickering at some unsuspecting soul - other than if it involves the two of you, another dear friend, or a past love interest - shouldn’t happen with any acquaintances over the age of 6, because it is mean, rude and should be considered socially unacceptable. If you can’t find something in your own repertoire of life happenings to giggle at your own self about, you are doing something wrong.)  It’s a good friend rule to have… and to keep.

“They” say you will be able to count on one hand the number of truly good friends you have in your life.  I think “they” are right.  I have the good fortune of being acquainted with a lot of people, some I like more than others and some I know that don’t particularly like me… and only a few I feel I could call if I really needed them – day or night – and they would come on their white stallion, ready for anything.

It might be more revealing if I answer the question “am I the kind of person I would like to have as a friend?”  That’s the biggy.  If I can be honest and determine what my response would be to that, I would, hopefully, be well on my way to being a better friend.

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life.  Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-