Now or Never

I am a procrastinator.  It is painful to admit in this day and age of accomplished Johnny-on-the-spots.  Although I don’t feel any impetus or sense of urgency to do anything about my innate abilities to hinder, dawdle and loiter luxuriously, by acknowledging the mere fact I have this problem I am hoping that it will be my first steps to betterment.  But I don’t want to rush into it… why do today what I can put off doing until tomorrow… or the next day?

I have successfully been able to “extend” activities indefinitely when I realized that always being the early bird doesn’t get you the best tasting worm.  I have gone the straight and narrow route, played “the game” and can get things done if push comes to shove, but why?  Life is not a race.  Competition is over emphasized and way too stressful and most importantly, fulfillment should be found in the journey and not always in the result.

In the spirit of justification, there is something to be said about taking the time to stop and smell the roses. It is just that when I am basking in the bouquet, I am overcome with the irresistible desire to be detained to pander to the whole garden.  Perfection takes time and I don’t want to rush progress.

For eleven months out of the year I can live with myself and the choices I successfully defer.  However, the countdown to the holidays is upon us and the thrill of the shop overrides the lack of purpose or drive I may seem to enjoy for 330 days.  I have a fire in my belly and purpose in my life.

Let the holiday shopping begin! I rise bright eyed and bushy tailed having dreamt about the bargains I would encounter.  Nothing will stop me and my desired haul – not rain, nor sleet, nor a non-enlightened or unenthusiastic snoring love muffin.  I hit the road before the crack of dawn possessed by what I saw in the colorful sale flyers.  The courtesy of retail establishments to serve orange juice and cookies when they open is not lost on me, but I don’t have the time to squander if I want to reach my goal.

Niceties to kindred spirits are brief but necessary for the jockeying of position and details of other sales.  Time is of the essence.  Eyeing over the good finds in other shoppers’ carts gets me wondering how I could have missed seeing it in the store.  I don’t hesitate, there is no time to lose, I ask of my compatriot the location of said item and I am off to search and rescue.

There is new drive in my spirit, quickness in my step and urgency in my actions.  I am invigorated by a sense of accomplishment and motivated by the sentiment of the season.  It feels good to finish what I start out to do… before it actually has to be done.  The one and only time I want to hesitate this month is when I pause to share the look of happiness and surprise of the recipient when they open their gift for this special time of year.  Besides I have the rest of the year to linger and lounge.

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life.  Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-