Warning: Stop Those Creative Juices Before They Flow

I have a friend who is going through a remodel.  God bless her… I don’t think she will ever be the same.  She is a much braver woman that I ever will be.  As much as my love muffin is a stud (as in what is between your walls) muffin, we have made a pact to unabashedly move to another abode before indulging in the bounty that enhances the special level of spousal bonding that accompanies the indulgence and pleasures of home modification and renewal.

Normal people who have headed into this mind-altering event with all the best intentions somehow, by the time they get from point A to B, have lost more than a few greenbacks.  Even though the end result is usually worth it, the process about does even in the sanest of individuals.

Who are these folks and what motivates them to want, almost need, to pander to this endless money pit of noisy, dusty, disrupt your every waking moment (those who have gone before me tell me their involuntary brain functions actively question every conscious decision at least two times over, causing angst, anxiety and sleepless nights) for this seemingly thankless exercise of futility?

What prompts these ordinarily gentle beings into mindfully choosing to take three, six or twelve months of their lives, turning their daily routine (putting on hold the ever necessary lunching with friends and the precious time that is spent solving the world problems or at the very least the pleasures of dissecting, analyzing and interjecting tidbits of unsolicited advice into someone else’s reality) and family life upside down?

Since it probably isn’t necessity that drives the decision to remodel (an avocado green commode works just as well as a white one, although I must admit I wouldn’t think twice about switching out a brown porcelain goddess), I have concluded it must be a momentary lapse of judgment and (in)sanity, with a bit of boredom thrown in, that drives individuals into a “seems like a good idea at the time” moment.  Even though we have all probably, at one time or another, had this fanciful flash, the veracity of the potential job and associated pitfalls catch the stronger of us before we start our engines and head to the well-displayed home store for ideas.

Once the juices are flowing and you have remodel on the brain, say good-bye to your normal life.  Endless trips to endless stores to choose the correct bathroom tiles (who knew there would be so many to pick from?) and every other conceivable thing that you didn’t know that you had such impious feelings towards prior to this endeavor.  The potential for disaster lurks if one change occurs.  One has to be on their “A” game at all times during this feast of refashion to be on top of everything from the mindful gaze during the installation of the 7" four function massaging rainfall showerhead to the ramifications of the size of the bullnose on rafters, verandahs or rosettes.

Inspired use of four-letter words.  Tolerance for 15 of your closest new friends convening in your 4’ x 8’ bathroom to discuss what was found when they removed the old shower.  And negotiating skills achieved when finding out how far your money really goes when a job runs over are just some of the remuneration that you gain.  And, of course, the coup d’étas, the beautiful new space that you will certainly enjoy, at some time, after you get some sleep and come to terms with the fact that you could have gone on several extravagant, yet relaxing, adventures to faraway lands for the cost to mind, soul and wallet you experienced first hand, at home.  But do me a favor, call me first before you think about ever doing another remodel, I will help you see the light.

Cynthia A. McClelland, curious observer of the obvious with interpretations of the oddities of daily life.  Mother, wife and lover of the furry, resides in the north Lake Tahoe area.

Cynthia A. McClelland © 2003-